Quotes:
Behind ever great man is a woman rolling her eyes. -Jim Carrey
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me. -Mitch Hedberg
I like to use 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. -Demetri Martin
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. -Jeff Foxworthy
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. -Clifford Stoll
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. -Minnie Pearl
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