2012, sadly enough, didn't start for me until 8:00 A.M. Jan 1. Is that lame? Some of my friends were harping on me for not partaking in any of the festivities on New Year's Eve, but I just wasn't feeling it and just was not in the mood. I did spend most of the day cleaning and reorganizing my room. As I was doing so, I did do quite a bit of thinking and reflecting what kind of 2011 I had. Needless to say, it wasn't the greatest... I found myself to be contempt leaning towards frustration and anger. And let's just face it, that's just not a healthy way to live. I know that this is something that we all experience at one point in our lives, and that's okay. I just found it weird that I was stuck there for the whole year and a couple of months leading up to 2011. It was one of those 'What am I doing?' moments, something that I expected to occur while obtaining my first degree in the first couple of years of college, but it just never came. What was the cause of this? I did notice that I was stressing the little things more and more. This was something that I never really did or did on a frequent basis. This subsequently lead to being more short tempered, less patient with others and just overall confused about what I wanted and expected from my decision making. While all this was happening with me, I was also returning to school. What a decision... While I am very happy with the decision of returning, at the time upon return, it was difficult. Difficult to return to school form, organizing thoughts and work and just keeping my personality in check. Often I did question myself about this decision in there early stages of the semester, but as it progressed, things did get better. I found myself to be more focused and more worried about given tasks that were productive and constructive. As I was reflecting, I realize that this is something that I needed, an 'Ah-ha!' moment. A something to do, whether it may be cleaning and organizing, mowing the lawn, working a part-time job, reading a book, etc.; whatever it may be, I needed something to keep my mind on the straight and narrow. Having nothing to do or taking your time and using it in a deconstructive way can ultimately lead you be crazy or just a bitter person to be around. Going into this winter break, experiencing the year change, looking forward to the new semester and thinking back about this past year made it seem as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And I have never felt better about myself since this realization. I am really looking forward to what this coming year has.
Extra: I found cleaning to be therapeutic. Maybe it could work for you! I find myself thinking back on things and having realizations while cleaning. Kind of weird when you think about it, being this is one thing that people tend to groan about.
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